Below is a list of some of my favorite headlines I’ve contributed to The Onion and Clickhole as well as a couple of articles I wrote for Slackjaw. (Note: I contribute headlines and social for Onion and Clickhole. Articles were written by staff members.)

ONION HEADLINES

Pretentious Baby Who Just Learned Word ‘Daddy’ Won’t Stop Inserting It Into Conversation

Louisiana Local Snaps Cajun Fry In Half To Suck Out Potato

Boris Johnson Unsure How U.K. One Country But Also Four

Landlord Informs Tenants He Increasing Endless Economic Anxiety By $100

World Bowling Championship Postponed After Lanes Already Reserved For 11th Birthday Party

CLICKHOLE HEADLINES/SOCIALS

Medical Breakthrough: Scientists Have Shrunk Shaq Down Two Feet And Renamed Him Bert

What Does This Mean For Soda? The CEO Of Coca-Cola Just Announced That He Doesn’t Give A Fuck Anymore

Give It Up For The King Of Fantasy: George R.R. Martin Just Announced That Instead Of Finishing The Game Of Thrones Books He’s Just Gonna Stay Rich AF And Let These Broke Boys Worry About Dragons

Damn, Boy: Put A Shirt On

The 4 Personalities

OTHER SOCIALS

Houston Texans Head Coach Demeco Ryans Doing Key & Peele IRL (featured on ESPN socials)

SLACKJAW

Tips For Being A Modern Cowboy

We Noticed You’re Using An Ad Blocker: You Think You’re Real Smart, Huh?